On August 18 this year, I wrote myself a letter. This letter said,
Although times are tough and money is tight, you’ll be happier to know that when you’re reading this later down the road, you’ll be much happier than you are now. I get it. It sucks that you haven’t gotten what you want, and maybe you didn’t make the best of this summer however you predicted to, but remember George’s story: he was homeless twice and most likely suffered from a chronic drug addiction; yet he still made it. With diligent prayer to god and a hopeful & positive mindset, I can achieve anything I want. This is supposed to be my last year at school, hell, my last year ever being surrounded by pubescent college fiends who drink their sorrows away and lie to themselves about their own inner turmoil. I’m one of them—and I probably will be for the remainder of this month. I’ll get out of this slump though, like I always do… There will be something new to focus on that’s much more important than what I’m currently searching for.
Almost nearing four months later, I can confidently say that I’m 110% happier than I was then.
As I was sitting in the office, waiting for my interview to start, I suddenly felt the nerves attacking me. Why am I nervous? I’ve done so many interviews before, why is this one beating away at me? As I sat there anxious for what was about to happen, I went to my notes for wisdom.
This past letter was a different version of myself who enjoyed the extremities of suffering. I get it, living in self pity, ensconced in a world of anger is addictive.
But that letter sent an inspiring message to me—if I wanted to be happy, I had to endure, and most importantly, accept all of what comes to me in my journey of life.
The nerves suddenly washed away. I am confident again. If this doesn’t work out, I’m sure there will be many more opportunities for me elsewhere. If this does work out, I am meant to be here.
One hour later, I was shaking hands with my new campaign staff partners because I had done it.
I’m happy to say that no matter what has come my way in life, for ill or will, has designed me to become the best version of myself. I’ve realized that when I’ve lost something, something greater has always found its way to me. However, I have to always remember that patience is a key virtue in this egregious process.
May it be finding a foundation to the beginning of a career path, love, or finishing school in timely fashion… life has granted me so much that I need more time to be grateful.
I would like to end this by saying that the start of my journey began as a 1.96 GPA, 990 SAT, high school junior. Fortunately for me, being that person several years ago, I have grown to know my past will forever consist of the skeletons in my closet, those I wish to never experience again—but I won’t take them for granted, because I can always say to the old version of myself, “the war is already won! It’s just the battles you’re going to have to lose to enjoy the victories a little more.”
Sometimes I think about George. If I could go back and thank him for the talk we had, I would. He took a break from work to sit next to me, ask about what was going on, and find it in his heart to show every ounce of empathy. I’m very thankful for him, and his story continues to inspire me to this day… that no matter what, however troubling life may be, there is a light at the end of the tunnel in the darkness. Thank-you George… I owe a lot of my success this semester to you.
As I end this note, I would like to give a little more clarity about what has changed. I finally felt comfortable again being on my own. I’ve had to recover from a broken heart many times, but this one continued to linger… I can confidently say that my heart has begun its process to heal. The hardest part about living with a broken heart, is learning how to love yourself again—and that is the imperative aspect of regaining your memory. Now that I love me, I feel like me.
School was never really a challenge in college, although some classes here and there gave me a run for my money. This fall semester, I put more than just an extra ounce of focus in my work. I excelled in all of my classes, wrote the best papers in my entire college career, and achieved a 100% grade completion in a class. Once I learned that I could devote more time to me again, I realized that I was capable of scholastic achievement. Today, I’m ranked at the top demographic of my graduating class, and I have a plethora of Law Schools to choose from in the future.
Finally, finding a job, internship, or even a career has been a never ending bout. I’m a flip-floppy person who struggles at picking one thing. Because of my friends, I was able to figure out better who I was. They were there to encourage me to be the best version of who I was—and that led me on a path to work for a political campaign. I’m excited to begin my journey working for a Michigan State Senators campaign staff. I’m also happy to be able to confidently disclose my political ideological affiliation.
The letter from the beginning of this note made me sit back and think about how far I’ve come… I believe this is only just the start…